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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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• (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you send adult things?

  (281): View more from Texas

  Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here

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• (347): View more from New York

  Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil

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