So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize