Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think my fart just growled at me.

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  (203): I think my fart just growled at me. http://tfl.nu/gjsq
  Replies (7) Good night (1143) Bad night (2251)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.

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  (512): he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success. http://tfl.nu/9rt5
  Replies (11) Good night (6794) Bad night (729)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

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  (443): Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit. http://tfl.nu/7z3f
  Replies (20) Good night (3701) Bad night (904)
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  (283): View more from Ohio

  she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.

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  (283): she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love. http://tfl.nu/fwj8
  Replies (8) Good night (4433) Bad night (814)
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  (661): View more from California

  Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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  (661): Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half http://tfl.nu/okef
  Replies (14) Good night (1033) Bad night (3936)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?

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  (623): Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub? http://tfl.nu/jp28
  Replies (5) Good night (2225) Bad night (853)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate

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  (509): I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate http://tfl.nu/14fu
  Replies (6) Good night (2216) Bad night (650)
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  (661): View more from California

  he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".

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  (661): he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard". http://tfl.nu/69oo
  Replies (9) Good night (1334) Bad night (551)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  "drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..

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  (419): "drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again.. http://tfl.nu/1sfp
  Replies (4) Good night (1356) Bad night (507)
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  (805): View more from California

  Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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  (805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (358)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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  (802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (440)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.

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  (954): Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat. http://tfl.nu/msv0
  Replies (10) Good night (1262) Bad night (341)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year

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  (720): Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year http://tfl.nu/fovp
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (497)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.

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  (250): I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay. http://tfl.nu/u9js
  Replies (7) Good night (624) Bad night (322)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB

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  (502): I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley (502): C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB http://tfl.nu/2ahg
  Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (205)

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