Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

so... i had sex tonight

(906): View more from Michigan

with a midget

(906): View more from Michigan

nicccce tits for a little person

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(906): so... i had sex tonight (906): with a midget (906): nicccce tits for a little person http://tfl.nu/2uyc

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(646): View more from New York

We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.

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(646): We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat. http://tfl.nu/ozyu

Replies (5) Good night (3044) Bad night (514)
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(773): View more from Illinois

If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?

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(773): If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk? http://tfl.nu/beic

Replies (34) Good night (3535) Bad night (978)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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(717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl

Replies (10) Good night (5152) Bad night (773)
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(914): View more from New York

Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

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(914): Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ft7q

Replies (12) Good night (3256) Bad night (640)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow

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(404): I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow http://tfl.nu/bfg7

Replies (14) Good night (3411) Bad night (1486)
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(517): View more from Michigan

But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.

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(517): But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever. http://tfl.nu/ir44

Replies (7) Good night (3447) Bad night (947)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.

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(+44): You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste. http://tfl.nu/s042

Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (425)
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(406): View more from Montana

You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.

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(406): You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock. http://tfl.nu/e7xz

Replies (8) Good night (1033) Bad night (537)
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(805): View more from California

Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next

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(805): Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next http://tfl.nu/au7a

Replies (1) Good night (991) Bad night (418)
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(909): View more from California

I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.

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(909): I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting. http://tfl.nu/6xjr

Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (491)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life

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(228): I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life http://tfl.nu/miua

Replies (6) Good night (545) Bad night (792)
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(510): View more from California

I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus

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(510): I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus http://tfl.nu/am4v

Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (422)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"

(203): View more from Connecticut

So thanks for that

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(203): By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking" (203): So thanks for that http://tfl.nu/03od

Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (406)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off

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(973): In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off http://tfl.nu/ncu8

Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (705)

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