Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
