so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
