If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
