I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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