I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
