I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize