last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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