scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
