My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
