I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
