there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
