you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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