how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
