If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
