My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
