did you get engaged???
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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