You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
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Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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