as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
