i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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