Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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