definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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