a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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