my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize