the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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