I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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