Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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