I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
