i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize