Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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