i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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