Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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