Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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