If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
