@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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