Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
