...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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