Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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