are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
