Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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