I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
