I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
