Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
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Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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