is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
MIDGETS
????
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
