is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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