Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
so much tequila, so little girl.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
