it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
