I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
