I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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