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who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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