My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
