Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
