arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
