I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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