So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.