i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
