she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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