Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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