this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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