I think I won the penis lottery.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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