I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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